I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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