The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
