angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
