how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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