did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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