I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
