You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
