did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
