last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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