Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
