if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
