I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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