it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
