Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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