That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Even my vagina gasped.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
