So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
