think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
