Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize