boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
