Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
