I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize