It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize