I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Randomize
