So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I puked a lego.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
