**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
okay pat passed out under dana's car
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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