"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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