My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I need water and some morals
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
