Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize