You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
