that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize