Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
