dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
