he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
