Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My vagina just recognized that song.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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