quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
