David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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