drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize