My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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