just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
