with your own penis?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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