What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
