Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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