His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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