when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
