The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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