I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
