Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
