"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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