No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
