Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
