What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
