That reminds me...we need to get swords
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
