he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize