i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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