I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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