and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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