I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
