Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
