sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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