They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
