Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
