We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
