I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
