The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I looked at my own cervix.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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