I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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