I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
