I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
