she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
