Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I don't deserve a penis
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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