I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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