Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
