Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize